Empty

when you lose something that has been a part of you for so long, how do you deal with the loss?  is the void ever filled again or is that part of yourself gone forever?  when you decide to accept it and never go back then does your heart start to heal or will it forever be gone?  does the mundane help you get over it, does just getting on with lifehelp, is moving on to another the answer or will it be gone forever?  you wake up each day and getting out of bed starts to be an accomplishment but somehow it no longer seems worth it and you ask yourself will this forever be this way? you know time heals, but maybe you like the pain because it makes you feel at least something, cause the thought of not feeling anything  ever again scares you to death. your heart hurts to an unbearable degree but you keep breathing and you wonder how this to be so. everywhere you look reminds you of time spent and you wish it was the way it used to be, but you know it wasn’t and nor would it have ever become that in the future.  u spend time with someone else, knowing you could feel for them, but your heart has become hard and protected and will not allow for anything to enter its depths ever again, though you hope this isn’t so, but it is how you feel. where do you go from here?  is right or left the answer…up or down the key?  you ended it to stop the hurt, but it only hurts more. you see the things it was not allowing you to do, it was not allowing you to be yourself, it was never going to see you, never going to see you, never going to see you!